Remy's interveiw

Survey For Remy:
May I call you Remy?
Do you secretly think Draco’s funny?
You yelled a lot at Harry at Grimmauld place…why so mad?
Are you sure it wasn’t sexual tension?
Sure?
Fine. Now, what’s this about you and Sirius? I hear Wolfstar shippers aren’t so far-fetched.
How does Tonks feel about this?
So…where do you get your Mexican liquor?
You had some wild parties at Hogwarts. Can we hear about one?
What DID come first? The chicken or the egg?


ANSWER IN DEPTH, PLEASE! Anyone else with further questions for Remy may post them below, and if he'll answer those, I'll also include them in the story.

May I call you Remy? Sure, but most people call me Moony. That was my school nickname.
Do you secretly think Draco’s funny?Draco. Now there's an interesting subject. I do think he's funny at times. The times that he's not trying to be sexy (and failing), complaining, licking people, or arguing with Harry, he's actually pretty hilarious, so no, he's rarely ever funny.
You yelled a lot at Harry at Grimmauld place…why so mad? Well, as you know, Harry was calling me a coward for not staying with Tonks because I feared Teddy was going to be a werewolf. I mean, I don't want my child to be like me! It's a baby! I don't want an innocent little kid to have to go through painful transformations just because they're dad was a werewolf!
Are you sure it wasn’t sexual tension? I'm sure it wasn't sexual tension. With my deaseased friend's son? Ginny, don't be sick.
Sure? YES, I'M SURE.
Fine. Now, what’s this about you and Sirius? I hear Wolfstar shippers aren’t so far-fetched. Yes, Sirius and I are- well, you see, I'd liked him since our school years and a few nights ago- well first, somehow Lily convinced me to have some drinks, and let me tell you, I do NOT hold my liquor well. Then, for reasons only he knows, Harry decided to hit me over the head with a rock, rendering me unconscious. Apparently, while I was unconscious, Sirius decided it would be a good time to molest me. Eventually I came around and discovered that he had done this. I told him off for it, but deep inside I was bursting with happiness. Rationality had left me. Later, I believe I said something fairly strange sounding in my drunken stupor to Voldemort, and Sirius snogged me.
How does Tonks feel about this? I talked to her and she said she's fine with it. I mean, Tonks is my best girl friend, and she even told me when we got married she told me she knew I was gay. I denied it, but she said "Don't lie to me. It's okay. We can still have a kid." It didn't hit me until later what might happen if we did...
So…where do you get your Mexican liquor? Well, about two weeks ago, I sold some Chuck Norris urine on the Black Market to this Mexican guy. I didn't really have any use for it at the time, and, being unable to get a job, I needed the money. Anyways, so Pablo owed me. Then the other day when Lily suggested I start carrying hard liquor around, I knew exactly where to get it from. So that's how I get the IML.
You had some wild parties at Hogwarts. Can we hear about one? Oh man. Which one should I talk about.... Well, I could talk about the one in '74 when I got very intoxicated... but Sirius could tell you more about that one ''.... Oh, I know. I'll tell you about the party of '76. Well, I had planned to stay in Gryffindor Tower, but James and Sirius decided that I should see what 'real fun' was like. I told them books were fun, but they still dragged me to this party. On the way downstairs I spotted Lily reading and, knowing she was a smart and sensible person, I asked her to come along with us. I can't remember who hosted the party- Hufflepuff, maybe, but it was held in... nope, can't remember that either. All I can remember is that it was crazy. The party was mostly Slytherins, but not by that much. I remember I saw several of my fellow Gryffindors setting off dung bombs, quite a few Hufflepuffs roaming through the crowd, trying to find their fellow Hufflepuffs, many Slytherins bullying said Hufflepuffs, and... No, I didn't really see a lot of Ravenclaws. They're usually not the partying type. Sometimes I wish I'd been in Ravenclaw... Anyways, I'll tell you about some of the more eventful things that happened that night. Well, first there was the whole James-Lily situation. As you know, James was a bit of an egotist, and he was infatuated with Lily. So he told me "Hey, Moony. Fives buckes [He was pretty drunk] says Iz cans snog Lily Evens in at leasts tenz min- min- minutes!" So, being extremely bored sitting on the sides of the party, I took him up on the bet. To make it fair, since being drunk would be a huge hindrance, I gave him a potion that would get rid of the smell of alcohol. Well, he walked over and started to try and talk to Lily, and in less than seven minutes, he had grabbed her and kissed her. She slapped him after that, and berated him for a full three minutes, but a kiss was a kiss, and I gave James his five bucks. Today, Lily claims to severely regret this, but I'm glad she did so. After that point James ego calmed down significantly. Now, a little while later, I spotted Sirius talking to someone. I'm not sure if it was a boy or a girl, but he was defiantly flirting with them. Then I saw Edmund. Now, Edmund was this scrawny Ravenclaw who- not to be stereotypical- like most Ravenclaws, I'd never seen with his nose out of a book, which is not to say a bad thing. Anyways, Edmund the Ravenclaw must have fancied the student Sirius was talking to, because he started yelling at Sirius and before you could say 'jealousy', Sirius had punched him in the face, and they started brawling, and let me tell you, Edmund was unusually strong for a Ravenclaw. I promptly strided over and broke up the fight, of course, but I never did see Edmund after that party. Sirius joked recently that Edmund was dead, but then laughed it off. I have never been as scared of him then when he said that. Anyways, back to the party. By this time the party was at it's climax. Couples were edging to the outer rim of the party- for a little more privacy, no doubt- and fights were breaking out all over the place like gnomes in a garden. At about this time Sirius come swaggering over to me. I assumed it was to brag about his fight, but he actually was bringing me a firewhiskey. Now, as I said earlier, I don't hold my liquor well, and this time I was smart and politely declined. But Sirius, being drunken than even James was, keep trying to force the drink on me and... I'm usually the smart one, the sensible one, the nice one. But Sirius was being REALLY pushy, and I was still pretty pissed at him for flirting and... I put Levicorpus on him. I'd seen Severus scribble it in her notebook the other day, and part of me wanted to know what the spell did and... So, anyways, Sirius shot up by his ankles, dousing some girls below him in butterbeer, and I started to panic. What had I done? How do I get him down? I ran out of the room, intending to try and find Severus, but she was crouching right behind the door. I figure she was trying to make sure Lily didn't leave with anyone. I asked her, "Whats the counter-curse to Levicorpus?" She just sneered at me and said "What's it to you?". I knew I couldn't tell her that Sirius was dangling upside-down, then she'd never give me the counter-curse. So, I lied. "Somebody's just used it on Lily!" She started to get up, but I quickly said, not wanting her to see the truth, "No! They're not letting any girls in, for some reason! Just tell me the counter-curse!" She stared at me for a moment, clearly trying to read my face, then said, "Why do YOU want to help Lily? You're just as bad as that Potter, or his friend, that Black boy!" I was deeply hurt but this, but I didn't have much time, so I said- rather curtly-, "Listen, I never did, do, or will approve of what James and Sirius do to you, but do you think I can stop them? Do you think they'll listen to me?" She must have thought about this topic beforehand, because right away she shouted, "Yes! You're the smart one! They listen to you! If you only had the guts to tell them, instead of just turning the other cheek!" I was infuriated now. I knew she was right. I just didn't want to admit it. So I proceeded to yell at her, "Forget about that, WHAT'S THE COUNTER-CURSE!?!?" "LIBERACORPUS!", she shouted back. I quickly ran back inside the party. As I reenter the room, I heard her shout, "You're just as bad, Lupin, JUST AS BAD!" Looking back now, I think Snape was on her period. AnywaysBy this time, people had begun taunting Sirius: poking him with their wands, throwing Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans at him. I quickly pointed my wand at him and shouted "Liberacorpus!" Imidiatly, Sirius drop to the ground on top of some sixth year Hufflepuffs. I ran over and quickly stammered some apologies to Padfoot, but he just patted me on the back, smiled, and said, "Man, you gotta teach me that one!"
And that, my friends, was the epic Hogwarts Party of '76.
What DID come first? The chicken or the egg? 'A circle has no beggining', or something like that.

I can't believe you'd do that! You knew how I felt about him!

I'm sorry! He made me promise not to tell you!

You should know that never works, Rem. I would have found out anyway.
I cannot believe this!

*cowers in fear*

Grow a backbone, Lupin. I'm not that scary.

Ugh, you should know better! You should know you NEVER bet on a kiss with a girl! I am absolutely going to MURDER that man...

Ahrgg why'd you have to use red font? I had to give up reading it less than halfway through because of the red.

Great job Remy! You're interveiw should be in Chapter three of the story, to be published next...Friday? Maybe sooner....

Well I was scared of what James would have done if I DIDN'T take him up on the bet. And don't tell me to grow a backbone! I am very brave! If I wasn't, I would have been in Ravenclaw!

Rem, what were you afraid James would do? It probably would have been nothing I hadn't handled before.
I'm sorry for calling you spineless, but I'm just frustrated and pissed off. I can't believe that kiss was a bet. *fumes* Men should know never to bet on a woman.

Being hopelessly drunk at the time, James might have Jellylegs-Jinxed me for all I know.
And you women seem to be so touchy about the slightest things.

We are not touchy about the slightest things!
If someone has a bet with Sirius about kissing you, wouldn't you be upset?
Remus, you know the counter-curse to the Jelly-legs jinx. It's un-jellify. Duh. And besides, I would've helped you.

Stop stereotyping females, REMY!

Lily Evans-Potter wrote:

We are not touchy about the slightest things!
If someone has a bet with Sirius about kissing you, wouldn't you be upset?
Remus, you know the counter-curse to the Jelly-legs jinx. It's un-jellify. Duh. And besides, I would've helped you.

You are touchy! It's like you girls are TRYING to confuse us me! And you all speak in code! ALL THE TIME! It's like you expect us men to be able to figure it out or something!
No, I would not be upset if someone made a bet with Padfoot like that, because everyone knows I'd do it.
Yes, I know the counter-curse, but still. Prongs was so drunk he might have done the jinx wrong and I might have ended up with actually jelly for legs! And you couldn't of helped! You were God-knows-where in the party! I had no clue where you were!


And Ginny, please, stay out of this. This is between your future-mother-in-law and myself.

Fine, then. Be that way.

About the party.... Why don I remember half of it?!

Siri: Because you were completely sloshed?

Oh yeaaaaaah... Thaaaaat...